Avoid becoming the project manager
It is easy for one partner to gradually become the reminder system, calendar and quality-control department. That tends to create resentment on both sides. External tools and explicit agreements are healthier than one person carrying the entire executive load.
Be specific
Clear requests beat hints. Agree what “done” means, when something matters, and where shared information lives. If a conversation is important, reduce competing distractions rather than trying to out-compete them.
ADHD explains; it does not excuse everything
ADHD can provide context for repeated patterns. Respect, accountability and willingness to work on those patterns still matter. Support should make a relationship more workable for both people.